When A Man Cheats And Tells You About It: 5 Things It Means

There are different levels of cheating.

One level is your man cheating on you and never admitting to it.

Depending on how intuitive you are, you may suspect.

But that’s inconsequential to the matter because he will say nothing except you confront him with irrefutable proof.

However, there’s another level where a man cheats and tells you about it.

You might be tempted to think you automatically know what it means.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth because it’s not always that simple.

There are different reasons why a man can cheat and tell you about it.

I’ll discuss them below.

5 Major Reasons A Man Cheats and Tells You About It

1. He Is Sorry

The first reason is the obvious one.

He is sorry.

It’s often a first and peculiar case for men in this category.

In most cases, it’s because they didn’t know how to set boundaries or there was a distance between you two.

Please note that this is not to blame you.

I’m a firm believer in the fact that the blame for cheating is in nobody’s hands but the cheater.

So, yes, he is entirely at fault because he had a choice to refuse.

However, there are some complexities that make people fall prey to sin, including cheating.

In this case, he probably got attention from the other woman that he didn’t get from his woman, which made it easier for him to fall.

Since he is not a repeat offender, his conscience is more sensitive, and he feels guilty enough to confess.

Now, this doesn’t mean this is always the case.

Some repeat offenders might also feel guilty.

Maybe they have a weakness of promiscuity that they haven’t worked on before getting into a relationship.

And so, every time they cheat, they feel bad and confess.

2. He Is Not Sorry

Another reason a man cheats and tells you is because he is not sorry.

In fact, he wants you to know he cheated.

The reason is not always farfetched.

It could simply mean you hurt him some time ago, and he never forgave you and wants to hurt you back.

Or he’s a jerk who feels cheating is his right as a man, and you shouldn’t have an issue with him meeting his biological needs.

He probably provides for you and doesn’t think women have other needs besides that.

For him, you should be satisfied with being kept and provided for.

Everything else is his right as a man.

You’ve probably heard some men talk about how men are polygamous by nature or that they love variety and cannot eat just one food for the rest of their lives.

A man like this doesn’t respect women and so will not feel the need to hide his escapades from you.

He may even care about you.

I wouldn’t go far by saying he loves you because I don’t believe you can love someone and constantly cheat on them.

So, yeah, while he doesn’t love you, he may have a sort of feelings for you; he’s just bound by a stronghold of the unfaithful demands of a man.

Conversely, he may not be sorry because he doesn’t care about you.

I hear you asking, “So why is he with me if he doesn’t care about me?”

Well, you need to know human beings; he may be keeping you in his life for something besides love.

He may enjoy being in a relationship, or it may be to meet his financial needs; you’re probably the provider in this case.

Or maybe you are just there to fulfill his sexual desires.

It really could be anything, but yes, a man can tell you he cheated on you because he doesn’t care whether you are hurt or not.

And in most cases, it’s because you allow it.

If you didn’t, you’d be out of there the first time it happened.

3. He Is Done With The Relationship/Marriage

A friend once told me of his friend who never breaks up with women.

Instead, he starts acting up until they get the message.

I think it’s cowardice, but people are not always logical.

For him, it’s the best way to end a relationship without dealing with the mess of being the one to break up.

A man that thinks this way might cheat and tell you so you can leave.

He’s done with you, but instead of saying it with his chest, he tries to make you break up or divorce.

If you try to understand the logic behind it, it might not make sense to you because you are sane.

For people like this, though, it makes complete sense.

4. He Wants To Change And Needs Help

Another reason is that he wants to change and needs accountability.

If it has become a habit, he may be helpless and feel by telling you, he will have a better chance of getting freedom.

For a man like this, he’ll likely ask for help, and you’ll notice him being more accountable to avoid a repeat action.

You need this caveat because some might pretend they want accountability to keep you from leaving while they make no changes.

So, I wouldn’t advise you to just take words from him; you must see actions.

Is he more transparent and accountable?

Has he given you complete access to his phone?

Does he report every new person in his life?

Has he made reasonable lifestyle changes to prevent such from happening again?

You need to watch out for this to be certain of one who wants help and one who is lying to you to string you along.

5. He Knows You Are Likely To Find Out

A man can tell you he cheated on you because you are likely to find out.

For that reason, he tells you before you do.

He’s hoping that confessing to you might be better than you finding out, making the consequence less severe.

It could be that he was caught by someone close to you, or he could see you suspecting him and getting close to finding out.

 

What To Do When A Man Tells You He Cheated

Before I proceed with this, let me clarify that, ultimately, the decision lies with you.

Having said that, what do you do when a man tells you he cheated?

1. Have A Discussion To Understand His Intention

Have a discussion to understand his intention for cheating.

Ask him why he cheated.

Not because there is any justifiable reason but to let you know his thought process.

Did he cheat because it’s his right as a man, or did he fall into temptation due to certain issues?

From the discussion, you should also be able to discern whether he still cares about you and wants to continue committing to his love for you.

Or if he’s stringing you along or done with you.

Of course, action is still more important than words.

You can give it time to see what actions and changes follow.

2. Watch Out for His Actions

You can decide to stay with him if you see regrets and honest change.

Like I said, watch for actions to show change.

And I’m not saying a few weeks because he may be remorseful for a few weeks and go right back after you relax.

I’m talking for a few months, at least three months.

Watch out for repentance, and then make your decision.

3. Decide What You Can Live With If He Is Not Remorseful

And if he isn’t remorseful, you must make a hard decision.

I would advise you to leave a relationship with a man like this.

But a marriage is usually more complicated.

So, you need to decide what’s best for you and make your decision.

What’s important is that you don’t live in denial.

You need to know your actual situation, accept it, and then make an informed decision.