10 Things Real Men Do To Keep The Romance Alive
Most men are generally defined by characteristics that align with their masculine gender, but beyond that, real men are men who have built the character and attributes of true leadership.
Some of these attributes include empathy, accountability, respect, vulnerability, and so on.
Men are generally a strong gender, but real men don’t deny their weaknesses because everyone has them.
They don’t hide under a facade.
In this article, we will examine the context of relationships and the things real men do to keep romance alive.
10 Things Real Men Do To Keep The Romance Alive
1. They initiate romantic efforts frequently
Within certain cultural, traditional, or religious contexts, it is deemed the woman’s responsibility to keep the spark in the relationship.
This is not only faulty but wrong.
It is an ideology that has made many men nonchalant about their relationships.
Instead of mending fences and keeping the fire of romance burning, they become the very weapons fashioned against the relationship.
There is also the narrative that romantic men are sissies.
In Yorubaland, where I am from in Nigeria, you may be accused of giving your husband a love potion if he is overly romantic towards you.
It’s a good thing real men are myth-busters!
With real men, love isn’t just abstract; they put action to words and initiate frequent romantic efforts.
They don’t leave it to their women to initiate romance, but they intentionally show their women how much they love them.
2. They are present lovers
Very close to this is the fact that real men are present lovers.
They are not emotionally detached or emotionally unavailable.
They give themselves to their women and their relationships wholly without holding back.
They are not scared to love their women and go full-on when they are in love.
This is so romantic, by the way!
Real men are not distracted by social media or the buzz in their personal lives and work.
Yes, life demands tend to increase in certain seasons, but they prioritize their relationships and always find a way around them.
They won’t go out on a date with you only to keep the phone as the center of attention as they pick up many work-related calls.
Also, they won’t bring work home and encroach on family time.
They are focused and present.
When work is over, they give their time and focus to their wives and families.
My husband has had to turn down impromptu business meetings scheduled for Saturdays or Sundays because they would infringe on family time and our couple bonding time.
He has also had to negotiate his leave and vacations because he cannot be present a hundred percent when work deadlines are breathing down his neck.
That’s a real man there!
Real men place a premium on being present in their relationships.
3. They don’t brush you off
Real men don’t play hanky panky in their relationships because they know it’ll kill the passion in the relationship.
They don’t send mixed signals or play mind games like manipulators do.
Some men are super manipulators and would brush off their women and make themselves scarce, so she begs for them.
Manipulation is a killer of passion in relationships, and real men don’t do manipulation.
They are not afraid to invest emotionally in their relationships and communicate their needs or hurts when need be.
They don’t indulge in silent treatment or keep malice because they know that these affect their relationship adversely.
4. They are attentive to your needs
Real men are emotionally intelligent, and when the seasons change, they are available to love their women the way they need to love.
Whether we like it or not, things won’t always be the same in romantic relationships because change is the only constant thing in life.
For instance, seasons may change for a woman when she experiences major life changes like relocation, pregnancy, and childbirth.
No matter the change of seasons, real men “stand gidigba” and are ready to support their spouse.
When I gave birth to my second daughter, my love language changed drastically from quality time to acts of service, but I am so grateful for the real man I married.
He aced it!
He was very supportive and loving throughout the process, loving me how I needed to be loved.
Sometimes, people complain about their partners loving them in a certain way and refusing to change.
Now, that’s where real men raise the bar.
They are observant and attentive to their partners’ needs.
Guess what?
It fuels romance and keeps the relationship going.
I remember how my husband’s love and support aided my speedy recovery from the traumatic cesarean section I had undergone and how his ability to understand my needs made me love him more.
That season was a sure marker in our relationship because we became closer and thrived.
5. They are verbally expressive of love
Real men don’t hide their feelings.
They show and tell you how important you are in their lives.
They are not afraid to express how they truly feel in their hearts.
6. They don’t take you for granted
This is a super important point because all that “see finish,” real men don’t do it.
They don’t joke with their women.
They don’t shove your love in your face or put you down.
Real men know that their women are valuable, and they honor them as such.
Generally, as humans, we don’t like to go to places where we are demeaned or put down.
Real men are appealing because they are not afraid to honor their women.
To them, honor is a code they live by.
They are not afraid that a woman will take them for granted and, because of that, step down their standards to dishonor her.
Honor begets honor, the code a real man lives by.
And guess what?
It makes their women honor and love them all the more!
7. They make sacrifices for the relationship
No relationship thrives without sacrifices and compromises.
A real man is not afraid to sacrifice his ego, time, and even money for his woman.
Sometimes, he sacrifices his right to being right just for peace to reign in the relationship.
I mean what is the advantage of winning the tussel only to lose the war?
Some people don’t know how to pick their battles or what to let go of for the benefit of their relationships.
Real men do.
8. They are quick to reconcile and forgive
Traditional men believe that reconciliation is solely a woman’s prerogative.
You may find a man rejecting food and giving his wife the silent treatment at home because he is disgruntled about something.
In most cases, the men here expect their women to appeal to them as a mother would appeal to her child.
In my opinion, that’s nonsense, and no real man will engage in such immature behavior.
Real men know how to communicate their hurts effectively, and they are also open and quick to forgive because they know that festered hurts can destroy the relationship.
They are also not shy about seeking or initiating reconciliation in the face of conflict.
9. They are not monotonous
Real men always seek improvement because they know that the more they evolve, the better their relationships will be.
They are not set in their ways and do not say, “That’s how I am.”
Real men invest in themselves and invest in spicing up things in their relationships.
They are secure and willing to try out new things too.
This even comes down to their bedroom behavior.
Real men do not stick to missionary style because that’s what their ancestors used but they are open to new ideas from their spouse on how to make things better.
In fact, they welcome these ideas with open arms.
10. They are vulnerable and real
They are called real men because they are REAL.
What you see is what you get.
They don’t hide beneath masks or try to present what they are not.
What this means is that they are vulnerable.
Vulnerability is a hack for intimacy because you can never be intimate with someone until there is vulnerability.
I love how the bible puts it: “Naked and not ashamed.”
They do not act macho while lacking substance.
If they need to cry, they let out the waterworks.
Real men don’t feel weak for being vulnerable and open; it is their superpower and a love fuel for their relationships.
I was in a meeting once where men attempted to answer the question, “What do women really want?”
While that is a profound question that can hardly be addressed in general, as the desires of women vary, the answer one man gave caught my attention.
He said that women want emotional safety, security, and stability.
I couldn’t agree more!
Real men keep the romance in their relationships alive by establishing to their women, through words and clear actions, that they are safe with them and in for the long haul.
They love unabashedly and sacrifice for their relationship to thrive.
